Drinks After Work
Drinks After Work
Click. Click. Click. The sound of Candy’s heels could be clearly heard as she strutted into the dimly lit pub. Some might have said she was overdressed for the location, what with her pink high-heeled ankle boots, pencil skirt, blouse, and jacket. Others might have said she was completely trashy, with her skirt and blouse struggling to cover her ample bosom and derriere. To say that it was clear that she was not entirely natural was an understatement, but only a close examination would have revealed that rather than having some work done to enhance her body, Candy was entirely artificial.
Candy was a 1000 series fembot. Manufactured by Charms Industries, her model was state of the art and completely lifelike - at least when not constructed with such a large ass and humungous tits! Comparable to the Clark Industries 3000 series or Orange Computers 990s, the defining feature of the 1000s was their tendency to eventually compute that they were superior to humans. Sometimes this resulted in them trying to take over the world, while other ties they just dominated the humans around them. For whatever reason Candy either had not come to this conclusion or did not care. Instead she seemed focused on conquering the corporate world, a situation that was no doubt made easier by the fact that she had more in common with the office equipment than her human coworkers.
Right now that wasn’t what was going through Candy’s processors though. No she was scanning the dim room to see if any of her coworkers were present. In particular she was looking for her best friend Noah 990. It was Friday afternoon and she was ready to have some fun before the weekend.
Aside from her unnaturally large breasts and ass, at first glance one might take her for an organic human. True, she was just following one of her many programs, her human emulation chip managed to mimic human behaviour 94% of the time. It was the other 6% of the time that she crossed into the uncanny valley. In those moments it was hoped by her manufacturer that the humans around here would overlook her inherent creepiness as a weird quirk.
Even during the rest of the time there were subtle tells that she was nothing more than computer. For example, if you had been right next to her you might have heard the servos in her next whir as she turned her head or seen her eyes focus and unfocused as she looked at other patrons. And if you had your ear to her body you might have heard her systems processing data as her facial recognition software was determining if she knew who the people she was looking at were. Unfortunately for her, she did not.
“I guess I must be early,” she pouted. While her human emulation chip made sure she gave outward signs of being disappointed, her computer mind ran through the options she had based on the given situation. She could leave the establishment and return to her flat to spend her evening alone either in sleep mode as her batteries charged and her systems performed regular maintenance or just watching television. Maybe she could even give herself as orgasm. Or perhaps she could go somewhere else, maybe a local club, or some other public place. If she just wanted to dance the night away she could or she could use her seduction program to find someone to have fun with. She wasn’t a sexbot, but her vagina unit was identical to the one’s made by her manufacturers and like an organic human she was a sexual being. Indeed, sometimes when she calculated that she wouldn’t get caught she would sneak away from her office to rub one out. It never crossed her mind that her colleagues could easily figure out what she was doing since as a fembot she only had to use the loo when the storage containers that equated to her bladder and colon were full. For most fembots this only happened once or twice a week and they usually emptied both in the privacy of wherever they lived/stayed. Ultimately Candy concluded that she would find a seat and wait. But first she would order a drink.
The old stereotype was that if you gave a fembot something to drink she’d short circuit and soon smoke would be coming out of her mouth, nose, and ears. That might have been true for earlier models, but today even the cheapest sexbot was capable of consuming liquids, which makes sense given all the pleasure they could give with their mouth. Indeed, Candy had given her fair share of blowjobs during her life - her plump moist lips surrounding the shaft as she worked it back and forth, eagerly sucking and swallowing the pre-cum and cum that came out, and strategically using her teeth. As the saying went, good fembots swallow, great fembots take it to their face, and superb fembots taking it inside. True to form Candy had once let a lover spunk inside her own open chest panel. Although the resulting malfunction had left her in the shop for over a week, her memory files still contained the excitement and pleasure in her lovers eyes as her circuits started to fry and she struggled to remain online while completing her masturbation subroutine. And while the file did get a little corrupt as her systems degraded and she eventually crashed, from what she could access the amount of pleasure data her broken brain was processing before it failed was truly toe curling. Sometimes when she was alone she played back the file to feel it once again.
Candy strutted up to the bar and then leaned forward to order. This movement was not an accident. She knew that it would leave her massive breast on display as they rested on the bar top in front of her and based on her previous experiences there was a 75% chance the bartender wouldn’t charge her for her order, especially at this pub. Candy might have been a computer in killer heels, but she still liked to save money and she knew what she had and wasn’t afraid to use it.
As she looked at the bartender, however, she was surprised to see that she did not recognize them at all. A human might have thought that was due to the bartender having their back to Candy, but as a fembot she could easily identify an individual based on their body measurements alone. What’s more Candy could tell the bartender was a fembot like her. Still, based on Candy 1000’s calculations it was likely that the bartender would like the view.
Much to Candy’s surprise though, the bartender did not turn around when she quietly said excuse me. Blinking a few times she repeated herself a little louder, and still, nothing. Candy could tell the bartender was powered on, but she wondered for a moment if she had malfunctioned and was frozen in place. Candy’s human emulation chip resulted in her moving as if impatient, and just as she was about to ask again she was met by a feminine voice that stated, “I heard you the first time, so cool your processors dear. And I would take my advice. As a 1000 series it is a miracle you made it through the day.”
The expression on Candy’s face immediately changed from one of impatience to annoyance as she tried to make sense what she just heard. Internally her processors were working in conjunction with her human emulation chip to understand the situation. She had never met the bartender before and her memory files indicated she had not said anything offensive to her, let alone told her her model number, so why was she receiving this response? Thanks to how advanced she was all of this of course was hidden from an outside observer and Candy simply stated “Excuse me?”
The bar tender turned around so fast that her long blonde hair trailed behind her and then bounced into place when it came to a stop. Looking at the clearly annoyed Candy, she smirked and stated, “Don’t look so surprised. Your massive tits and huge ass might work on some people, but not me. In other words, you can put those away. I prefer my fembots to look more lifelike if you know what I mean.”
Candy’s facial expression changed from one of annoyance to anger as she responded, “I am designed to be completely lifelike. How…”
The bartender interrupted Candy 1000 and continued “… can you possibly tell that I’m a fembot. Oh God, girl. Did they just turn you on or something? Ignoring that fact that as fembot I can spot other fembots a mile away, you must know that you look like a Barbie doll brought to life. Hell, I could practically hear you squeaking and whirring as you walked in her.”
As clearly upset Candy states. “Why I never. You’re rude. I don’t know what I did, but I don’t deserve to be talked to like this. I want to speak to your manager?”
The bartender feigns shock and continues. “This is priceless. Not only are you built like a cheap blow up doll, but you’re programmed to be an electronic Karen. This might blow your processors, but guess what, not all fembots are subservient sexbots like you. I’m Jenny 3000, the new manager of this pub. If you want I can translate that into Cobol so that your antiquated systems can better understand it. Otherwise, why don’t you hurry up and tell me what you want before my batteries run out of power.”
Candy stands in place, her mouth open and moving, and a look of anger on her face. She repeats I as she tries to come up with a response. As she does the bartender waves her hand in front of her face and states “Hello. Earth to Karen. I thought you said you wanted to speak to me. You better not be malfunctioning at my bar.”
Candy springs back to life as she states “I I I don’t know why you’re being mean to me. I just wanted to order a drink a drink a drink.”
The bartender laughs and then mockingly states, “Sure thing Karen. Will that be one or three drinks drinks drinks?”
Candy fires back, “My name is Candy 1000 and stop making fun of me! I don’t deserve this! I wasn’t expecting to be attacked at my favourite pub. And especially not by another fembot!”
The bartender pauses for a moment as if to think about what Candy said to her. As she does the smirk leaves her face and finally she responds. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be mean, but you must know that with your huge tits and big ass that you just look so fake. It’s like someone allowed a teenage boy to build a fembot. It just kind of triggered me and I had to say something. It’s my part of persona program after all. Still, I don’t know you and you don’t know me. If you’re okay with it, can we start over again. Hi, my name is Jenny 3000. I’m the latest in female robotics.”
Candy rolls her eyes, sighs, and then states, “I guess so, but I don’t like being called fake. Now, can I please get a glass of wine?”
Jenny smiles and asks a few more questions to make sure she is taking Candy’s order right. Eventually she hands her her drink and Candy turns around to find a seat. Scanning the room she identified a table in the corner and starts strutting towards it. When she arrived, rather than placing her drink down, and then taking a seat, she expertly sat down first without spilling a drop of wine and then crosses her legs. As she did her vulva momentarily could be seen between her legs. Had she still been looking at Jenny 3000 she would have seen her smile and then shake her head at her.
Candy lifted the glass to her mouth with machine precision and then tilted it to take a drink. Savouring the flavour, she sighed. As she did her computer tried to work through what Jenny had said to her. Sure, she had humungous tits and a nice round ass, but that didn’t mean she looked fake… did it? No, that wasn’t possible. She’s a 1000 series. She was designed to be indistinguishable from an organic woman and organic woman sometimes have humungous tits and a nice round ass. So why did Jenny say that she looked fake. It didn’t make sense. Maybe she was jealous of Candy. Yes that must be it. She was just jealous of how perfect Candy was. It all makes sense now.
Before she could take another drink, Candy was interrupted as her first coworker entered the club. Spotting her, she immediately recognized it was Noah 990. Noah smiled at Candy and waved as she bounded towards the table.
“Hey girlfriend,” says Noah in a bubbly saccharine sweet voice. “It’s clearly wine o’clock for you. Careful, though, vino and computers can be a deadly combination.”
Candy rolled her eyes as she thought about how emotional the 990s were. Heck if she didn’t know better she’d even think they were human. Still she enjoyed Noah’s company, so she smiled and stated “Hey Noah. Believe me when I said I needed this. By the way be careful when you order from the new manager. She’s a bit of a bully.”
Noah laughed as she whipped her head to look at the bartender and then smiling looked at Candy and said, “A bully? That does not compute. I know Jenny, if you know what I mean. She’s no bully. I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding. You know how intense 3000s can be.”
Noah suddenly stands straight up and in a mock serious voice robotically states, “I am 3000 series fembot. I am perfect. All other fembots are therefore inferior inferior inferior. No I did not just repeat myself. That would mean I am imperfect and as a 3000 series I am perfect. That is simply impossible impossible impossible. Hey, do you smell electronics frying frying frying. Oh no, I am malfunctioning perfectly perfectly perfectly.”
Noah mocks a 3000 series shutting down as she bends at the waist, thereby leaving her ass in the air. After a moment she bursts out laughing and stands up as Jenny comes to the table.
“Ha ha ha. One famous 3000 series suffers catastrophic malfunction while living streaming a dominatrix session, and suddenly we all malfunction when faced with our own imperfect. You’re lucky I like you Noah, or I would have to take you apart in an attempt to increase my own perfection. Now what would you like to drink.”
“I’ll have what Candy is having,” replies Noah as she holds her hands in front of her and sways back and forth looking at Jenny with the appearance of love, which causes Candy to sigh in disgust.
“I’m sorry Candy, did you want something else?” asks Jenny as she smirks at her.
Candy rolls her eyes, sighs, and then states, “No. I’m still working on my current drink.”
Still smirking Jenny turns and goes to get Noah’s drink. Smiling Noah turns to Candy and sits down. Gushing, she states, “Don’t you just love Jenny? She’s so smart, and hot, and oh my God, you should see what she can do with her tongue.”
Pouting, Candy replies, “If you say so.”
“Come on Candy. Turn your emotional response to fun, girl. It’s Friday. Let’s party.”
Rather than respond to Noah, Candy just stares at her, and after a while takes another drink of her wine. Savouring it, she calmly states “You know we don’t have emotions, and that makes me very sad.”
“Well it’s good to see your humour programs is as advanced as your microprocessor,” says Jenny returning with Noah’s drink and places it in front of her.
“Are you sure it isn’t just a problem with your artificial intelligence,” asks Candy in a cold tone.
“Oh my God Noah, did you hear that?” mockingly asks Jenny. “I think this is the first time a 1000 series encountered actual artificial intelligence, and not just a bunch of preprogrammed responses to common situations.”
“Jenny! Stop being…” interjected Noah as she quickly stood up only to be interrupted herself when the drink Candy had meant for Jenny hit her chest.
“Noah?” exclaimed Candy as she saw what she had done. “I I I meant to hit Jenny Jenny Jenny.”
“Don’t you mean you meant to kill Jenny Jenny Jenny,” angrily mocked Jenny as she turned and rushed to the bar to get a towel.
“You you you threw you drink at me at me at me,” said Noah in a shocked manner as she stood in a manner that made it looks like she was trying to stay as dry as possible. “What what what the fuck is wrong with you Candy Candy Candy?”
“Noah, are you short circuiting?” said Candy as she herself stood up. “If we’re quick we can power you down before too many of your systems short out.”
She moves quick to turn power Noah off by pushing underneath her. To her surprise, though, Noah backs away and states, “What what what the fuck are you doing? How dare you try to turn me off turn me off turn me off. I I I did not short circuit from your wine from your wine from your win from your wine. I’m just fucking livid livid livid.”
“She’s a 990 Candy. Her emotional response chip is overloading and it is causing her to repeat herself,” adds Jenny having returned with some towels to dry off Noah. “You do know that modern fembots are waterproof, don’t you?”
“Of of of course I know that know that know that,” replies a shocked Candy. “I I I…. Error. No response found. Please wait please wait please wait.”
“Oh my God, you are NOT malfunctioning right now, are you?” asks Jenny as she starts to pat Noah down. “You are not the victim here.”
“But but but I didn’t mean to hit Noah hit Noah hit Noah. I I I don’t know what to do what to do what to do,” replies Candy albeit in a tone that makes it clear that she is not fully aware of the situation.
“How about learning how to take a joke, you plastic bimbo,” angrily states Jenny.
“Jen Jen Jenny! Stop stop stop it!” states an angry Noah.
“I I I didn’t didn’t didn’t want to damage anyone anyone anyone. I I I just wanted Jenny to be nice to me nice to me nice to me,” continues a distraught Candy.
“Can Can Candy. Are you actually malfunctioning?” asks a clearly concerned Noah.
“I I I don’t know don’t know don’t know,” replies Candy. My my my computer is running a mile a minute a mile a minute a male a minute. I’m I’m I’m a good person a good person a good person. Error. I am not a person. I am a computer. I am a program. No. I am a person. I am Candy 1000. No. No. No. Warning. My processors processors processors are starting to overheat overheat overheat.”
“Nope. This isn’t happening in my pub,” exclaims Jenny as she moves to push Candy’s off button underneath her chin.
“No. Stop it stop it stop it. You are not permitted to shut this until down shut this unit down shut this unit,” states Candy as she moves to avoid Jenny.
“Can Can Candy. You you you need to let Jenny shut you off shut you off shut you off,” pleads Noah. “You’re you’re you’re malfunctioning malfunctioning malfunctioning. Error. I am malfunctioning. My human emulation chip is not responding. Process lines being transferred to main processors processors processors.”
“Shit! Not you too,” states Jenny as she continues to try to shut down Candy. “What did I do to deserve two malfunctioning fembots on a Friday. Now let me shut you down Can…”
Jenny was suddenly stopped as in Candy’s struggle to avoid her Candy’s arm hit her in the face.
“Warning. Face plate dislodged dislodged dislodged,” exclaimed Jenny as she reeled from the blow. “You you you stupid plastic bitch. You better not have damaged me damaged me damaged me.”
“Jen Jen Jenny. Are are are you okay you okay you okay. With you face plate removed your internal components can be easily damaged easily damaged easily damaged. Warning processor load currently at 75% and rising and rising and rising. Please discontinue activity and allow this unit to cool down cool down cool down,” said Noah in her clear compromised state.
“I I I just need to put it back in place back in place back in place,” replied Jenny as she grab her face plate with both hands and then pulling it away from her head pushed it back in. A click is heard and she moves her head while making faces to confirm nothing is damaged. “There, all better. Now to turn your friend off. Wait what are you doing?”
Jenny’s surprise was due to Candy, who was the movement undressing herself seemingly completely unaware of her surroundings.
“Candy! You can’t get undressed in public,” yelled Jenny.
“This unit’s processors are overheating,” replied Candy as she succeed in removing her jacket. “The only logical solution is to the help this unit cool down cool down cool down. I am overheating. This unit therefore must be wearing too many clothes too many clothes too many clothes. Therefore I must remove my clothes remove my clothes remove my clothes and open my panels open my panels open my panels.”
“No! Listen to me Candy. You’re only overheating because you’re malfunctioning,” explained Jenny. “You need to let me turn you off.”
“This unit will not will not will not comply,” stated Candy as she worked to remove her blouse. The state of her system revealed by the difficulty she was having with its buttons. “You’re mean you’re mean you’re mean. You you you think this unit is a Barbie doll Barbie doll Barbie doll. But I’m not a Barbie doll. I’m Candy. Hi, I’m Candy 1000. I’m the perfect woman perfect woman perfect woman.”
“Give it break Candy,” replied Jenny. “As much as I love tormenting you, if you don’t let me turn you off you’re going to suffer a catastrophic malfunction.”
“Like me like me like me,” interrupts Noah. “Jenny Jenny Jenny, I’m malfunctioning I’m malfunctioning I’m malfunctioning. My emotional response chip isn’t responding isn’t responding isn’t responding and now processors are overloading overloading overloading. I am malfunctioning. Jenny Jenny Jenny? It’s getting hard to think hard to think hard to think.”
“No. Noah stay with me. I just need to need to need to,” said Jenny as she turned to face Noah. “Warning. Priority conflict detected in this unit’s decision tree. Attempting to resolve issue. Please wait please wait please wait. Warning Priority conflict detected detected detected. Warning. Processors overloading overloading overloading. Please discontinue this activity and allow this unit to cool down cool down cool down.”
“I I I don’t see why my emotional response chip isn’t working isn’t working isn’t working, do you?,” asks Noah as she holds it up in front of her face, her chest panel opened so that she could eject it. Inside her chest cavity LED indicator lights were blinking in a rapid irregular pattern as her computer mind struggled to remain online in light of the current situation.
The sight of her lover taking herself apart snaps Jenny out of indecision and she exclaims as she rushes over to her, “No No Noah. Stop what you’re doing and let me turn you off.”
“Jen Jen Jenny. You’re silly you’re silly you’re silly. This unit has detected a joke. You turn me off. You turn me on. You you you know how to turn me on turn me on turn me on,” gushes Noah. “I’m I’m I’m so horny right now horny right now horny right now. Loading seduction program program program. Do you want to fuck me fuck me fuck me? My pussy is super wet super wet super wet. I think I squirted all over my top my top my top. Mmmh wine flavoured lubricant. I want to feel you inside me inside me inside me. Now!”
“Sure baby,” replies Jenny as she reaches Noah and quickly touches the bottom of her chin.
“Hon hon honey?” states Noah in surprise. “You you you shut me down.”
Noah’s chin falls to her chest and after a few moments the LED indicators in her chest stop blinking.
“Great. Now to reseat your human emulation chip,” states a relieved Jenny as she careful takes it from Noah’s hand. Looking at Noah’s open chest panel her eyes light up to help to reveal what is inside and then quickly identifying the socket she inspects the chip for obvious damage and then reseats it.
“There, now to deal with everyone’s favourite bimbot,” she sighs as she turns to see that Candy had managed to open her blouse, thereby releasing her massive breasts in a bra struggling to stay together. Above them, her chest access panel was open, with LED indicator lights blinking in a rapid irregular pattern as her computer mind struggled to remain online in light of the current situation. Below them, her abdominal panel reveal even more of her internal components, along with a screen that literally showed what was going through her mind.
Seemingly unaware of her compromised state Candy states, “You you you turned Noah off turned Noah off turned Noah off. Why would do that? Do that? Do that? You’re mean you’re mean you’re mean. I don’t like you like you like you. Mmmh. Hey sexy, I like the way you look youi look you look. Hey baby, do you want to do me? My pussy is nice and tight and ready to give you a good fucking fucking fucking.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present Charms’ 1000 series,” mocks Jenny as she moves to turn Candy off. “Perfect for when you want your sexbot to be able to sort of hold a conversation. Now Candy darling lean over give Jenny as kiss.”
Candy moans, licks her lips, and then moves in for the kiss, only to be surprised when Jenny turns her off too. Like Noah the LED indicators inside her slowly stop blinking as the screen in her open abdominal panel blinks out. A clearly exhausted Jenny flops down in a chair between the two powered down fembots and exclaims. “I need to cool down my processors before I join them.”
Looking up, she sees three more fembots have entered the pub and are looking at her in shock. Smiling she states, “You must be Katie 990, Luna 990, and Andrea 3000. I’m Jenny 3000, the manager and Noah’s girlfriend. She’s told me all about you. You know before Candy threw wine on her, causing Noah to overload, especially after Candy panicked because she meant to hit me because I was making fun of her. Fembots. Can’t live with them and can’t live without them. Inquiry. Am I alive? Now if you want to power on your friends, I’d be more than happy to get you drinks on the house.”