Date Malfunction
(Art done by the ever wonderful Altop_Ilust on Discord/Twitter)
[Date Malfunction]
You walk through the finely carpeted doors of the Golden Saloon. A pub designed for only the wealthiest of smugs in all of Krakton, filled with the priciest of liquor, vodka, rum, and all the wines in the world.
And you can FEEL that you don’t belong here.
You alone stick out like a sore thumb, wearing your old half worn tuxedo with reluctant gusto. The suit itself wasn’t dirty, nor had any tears in sight, but it wasn’t as pristine as the other patron's either. Luckily for you, it went as ‘passable’ for the snubs so they wouldn't dagger you down with their condescending looks of superiority… And wealth.
‘Why’ were you even here in the first place?. Oh, right. One of your old pals from your school days called you last night. Informing you that he found someone that may light up your life a little, given your wobbly life as of late. You still wonder why you even agreed to go and see this ‘special’ person, and HERE of all places.
After a few minutes of wandering around, staying just the right amount of incognito from most of the rich folk, before finding a lonesome spot by the bar. Not even two seconds after you plop your ass down do you get assailed by the bartender. Said bartender was an automaton on two wheels, spotting 4 arms, a square and bulky torso, and a round head whose face was one big screen that ran from the top and down to where their jaw would have been, if they had one.
On said screen were two big cartoony eyes, and a big, bushy, twirly, mustache. “And what can I fetch for you this fine evening, good sir!” It asked in an elderly British accent “Do you want some of our most exquisite whisky to lighten your senses, sir?”
“I’ll just take some wine if that’s fine with you… Don’t really feel in the mood for any of the heavy stuff right now…” You told the automaton, while resting your head on a clenched fist. Looking and sounding as downtrodden as a man can get.
“Ofcourse, sir. One wine coming right up!” They proclaimed. Not picking up on any of your miserableness, as they just sped off to another part of the bar to grab you your wine.
You sigh a heavy sigh, running your left hand down along your face, before pinching the bridge of your nose, while still holding onto the lower half of your face.
“You mind some company?...” A feminine voice asked to your left, making you drop your face pinching, and turn to the voice’s source. Standing there was the most gorgeous looking woman you’ve ever laid eyes on, but not just any woman, but a Renamon of all things!. Dawning luscious long dark hair, golden jewelry around her neck, and wearing a finely woven stola that makes her look like a beautiful Greek goddess.
For a moment, you are stunned for words to say. But once you do find your voice again, you do so with a slight stutter. “Uhm-uhh, eeh-well n-no? Uhm… Sure, take a seat…” You say. Scratching yourself behind the ear in very mild shyness.
“Hm~ Marvelous~” The Rena cues with a silky sweet voice, before taking her seat beside you, while holding this regal posture.
You both sit there for a few minutes in semi-pure silence, while all the rich people mewling around and about, talk up a storm with one another. In this silence, you were busy keeping your eyes glued down on the bar table. Body tense from the mere fact that a beauty like her was sitting right beside you. Meanwhile tho, she’s been staring at you with a warm smile, intrigue in her eyes, patiently waiting for you to ease up a bit.
“Ah! Here we are, sir!” The jolly voice of the Bar automaton breaks the choking silence, as they roll up before you and the new arrival with a big bottle of vintage wine. “I’ve found just the right bottle for a lone heart like yo-Oh my! My good sir!” The bartender exclaimed when it noticed the well dressed Renamon. “Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna spend your evening with a fine lady?. And a fair one at that!”
“What?! No! she isn’t-”
“No need to get heated, Richerd. I hadn’t introduced myself to him yet” She told the automaton with a small giggle. “Now, would you be a dear and fetch us a glass each~”
“Of course, ma’am. Right away!” ‘’’’
You sit there for a moment with you filed glass of wine, before breaking the silence. “...Sooo… I take it you're a regular here?”
“Hmm, and what makes you think that?”
“Well, you just called that thing by it’s… Name. making it sound like you’ve known each other for a while now… Kinda hard not to draw that kinda conclusion”
“Hihihi, yes, that do be quite a give away…”
“...Well, now that we’ve broken the ice, I gotta ask… Why are you here?. I’m not insinuating anything, it’s just that… From what little I know of digimon, you guys tend to rather stay out of our world’s affairs… So what gives?”
She hums for a moment, before giving you an answer “It’s true that most of my fellow kin are not much for this world’s drama. But some of us grew an interest in it, and that’s why i’m here~”
“Uuggh… Okay? But, that still doesn’t quite answer my que-”
“But enough about me, I wanna hear more about you~”
“Tsk!” You sneer. “Heh, What is there to tell? I work as a miner, and as the handy man for when the drills start acting up…. I live in an adequate sized apartment that is just big enough for me and my things… My mother died a few weeks ago from food poisoning… And overall, I feel like utter shit…” You spilled your tale.
“And that is all there is to it, really” You finish with a fake, optimistic tone in your voice.
Rena looks at you, pity in her blue eyes. “I’m sorry to hear that…” She says.
“Can…Can we not with the ‘pity’ shit right now?” You asked her, pleadingly.
While you both were sulking between one another, the automaton rolled in with two glasses and placed them perfectly in front of you, while continuing to roll by “Hm, of course… Can I then offer you a drink instead? To ease the tension.” she asked with a sunny voice, as she began to fill the wine into the glasses.
You stare at her for a moment, until she holds out to you your glass “...Sure…” And you take it.
Before you knew it, you and this magnificent creature had been chatting for over an hour. Talking about nowadays scrobles, small insignificant little pet-pives you both have in your day-to-day routines. Laughing at a few jokes and a couple of stupid wordplays, the latter being from you and your terrible attempts at pickup lines. All in all, you were enjoying it. Hell, even a flicker of a spark between the two of you, made itself known in your gut.
However, it was first when you were done with your sixth glass, that you noticed that she had not taken a single sip from hers this entire conversation.
“Say, you need to go somewhere tomorrow?” You ask, face a bit red from all the wine.
“Not that I remember, no. Why you ask?”
“Heh heh, because I haven't seen you down a drop on your end yet!” You proclaim, before raising your newly refiled glass. “Come ooon! live a little and take a sip already! Haha!”
Renamon looks at her glass for a moment. You don’t notice, since you are busy with your own glass, but she stares at her glass while sitting as still as a rock. Neither do you hear, what sounds like a very muffled ‘Beep’, come from her, as she proceeds to reanimate once again.
“Hmhm, yes… You’re right. To us then!” She responds with her own proclamation, before taking the edge of her glass to her lips and down half of it. Smacking her lips and making a comical ‘Aaaah~’ she puts her glass back down on the counter. Twirling a finger around the edge of the glass, as she looks at you with a sassy glint, and her tail wiping behind her.
“Yeeaahhh! Hahaha! No need for all the fancy shit! All we need is a bottle of wine and good company!” You announce with a louder voice, but none of the rich-pricks seem to notice your proclamation in the slightest.
“Hihihi, yes you got that- Hihihi, yes you-yo-you got thatthat-pzzt! Hmhm-hmhm-hmhm you got a lovely-ly-ly voice~-Voice~-Voice~-Voi-Tzzt! Hihihi-hihihi yes yooo-got right that-right that got-Righ-Tzzt!...” Rena stuttard. Or that was what it sounded like to you. But at the same time, that wasn’t any normal kind of drunk stuttering you’ve ever heard before. She wasn’t that big of a light-waight, was she?.
You only grew more concerned when the Fox began to visible vibrate, before also then noticing some of her limbs start twitching.
“Uuhhh… You alright?” You asked the mildly twitching renamon.
“I’m-i’mi’m-I’m fine, John-jo-JOHN. Tell me more-mo-more-morrr-re about youryouryour seeelllllfffff-*Bumpf!*- ERROR-R-R! Liq-Liq-quid detect-tect-tec-Errr- System-em comproooo…” Renamon blurted out, head snapping into a wired angle as her eyes were going crossed, before then starting to look in the opposite directions in quick tandem, together with her head snapping sporadically from one direction to another.
You were about to ask what was happening, but instead jumped with a yelp in your seat when the tweaking digimon crushed the glass she was fiddling with on the table, glass splinters flying to and throu, and spilling its contents all over the bar. Her claws dug trenches into the hard wood as she slowly dragged it along back to herself.
Before you could reach a hand out to her, the yellow fox had already slid off their stool before going into a static motion. Arms jerkingly moving up, before then going all the way down and behind her, while her legs kept taking her one step forward, and one back. Her tail flickering about like a frenzied snake, brushing away the remaining glass shards while also drenching her tail a bit in her drink.
“Oh dear! It seems The fine lady couldn't handle her pint once again” Richerd piped as it observed the malfunctioning Renamon. “Not to worry, sir. I know how to calm her down…” The automaton told you, before a new set of hands protrudes out of its back like tentacles, and flies over to wrap around the tweaking mon. Next, they pull the mon back, and half onto the table facing up, still twitching and spazzing out like no tomorrow. Then the bartender grabs her head with it’s second pair of hands, holding it still. Richard then lifts it’s third right hand with it’s index finger out-stretched, as said finger’s tip flicks to the side as some wired long tool, pops up from the now open finger.
Then, without skipping a beat, does it position the tool by Rena’s ear, pointing directly at her ear canal, and thrust it inside. Rena locks up immediately, her body arching heavily while the only part of her still twitching is her restraint head. Her mouth snapping up and down in static tandem, while her eyes flickered and her eyelids twitched. During all of this you could hear a faint static sound, accompanied by a few pops and krakles, emanating from Rena.
It lasted for a good 20 seconds, before Renamon finally gave up the ghost and fell back limp onto the table, Eyes dimming into darkness.
“There, that calmed her down like a well fed cat! Hahah!” Richard commented while unraveling their ‘tentacle hands’ from the now motionless mon.
Utterly baffled and confused at all that just happened, your brain finally clicks together, what should have been obvious a few minutes ago. “Wait… So… So she was a-”
“Android? Why of course, my good sir! You should know like every other chap that ‘Real’ Renamons would rather be dead than mingle in our society. Ho! ho! ho!” They bellowed a hearty laugh.
But instead of laughing with them, all you do is look at the de-powered, ‘fake’ Renamon. Your heart, sinking back down into depressiveness once more. “......Will it… Will ‘SHE’ be alright?” You asked the bartender.
“Why of course, sir!. It was only just a minor malfunction, she’ll be back up and at it again in no time!” They assured you. “Tho… her memory banks may positively have gotten corrupted from the liquid she consumed…”
“So she wouldn't remember me or our talk just now?”
The bartender looks at you for a moment. The beeps and boops from inside it’s metal shell, buzzing loudly as they compile their answer. “I’m… Afraid that may be the case, sir…”
You stare at the automaton for a few seconds, then back at Renamon. You swivel back on your seat facing the counter, before lowering your head solemnly on it, and your arms covering around it on the counter aswell. You sigh a deep and methodical sigh from your bruised heart, before asking the bartender with a muffled voice. “Can you fetch me a bottle of the heavy stuff? Now i REALLY feel in the mood for it…
“......Of course… Right away, sir…” Richard affirms, leaving to fetch the strong liquor, for the broken porcelain-man that was you…
You glance over at the still inert robot digimon. Even tho she was lying halfway over the counter and disheveled, you still saw the beauty in her.
“......Hope we can… talk again sometime…”
[The End]
[Thanks for reading!]