File:Classic Carmen.jpg

When I met her nearly twenty years ago, I found the fact that she's a machine a huge turn on. Since we married I've had her fully refurbished twice. The first time her Turing core was upgraded and she was extensively reprogrammed with improved social, sexual and service functions and the new Class 3 compliance standard, though I kept her personality mostly unchanged.

Carmen's second refurbishment was the result of an unfortunate accident. One of her friends, a much newer model unfamiliar with Carmen's design, overrode a shut-down warning to continue using her. In these early units erogenous input is hard wired to the CPU and a malfunctioning clitoral array caused my poor wife to burn out every processor and even melt some motor bus wiring as she tried to reach orgasm. She was bricked for weeks as a specialist maintainer sought out old Sythetica parts to rebuild her.

She's functioned well since then with careful maintenance but its increasingly hard to get support for all the usual minor day-to-day faults. She's not compatible with any of the modern service booths and I wasn't surprised to find the tech at our hotel had no programming for Carmen's model…

"No, just turn her off please, you'll probably do more harm than good… Package her up and have her couriered to Angelica's Classic Robot Restoration, I'll give you the address…"